The future looks back at you and grins inanely

Hey, fellow lock-downers! So, this is the set-up. Nine days into a very British style lock-down and the people at Amazon Prime and eBay have delivered the goods. Thanks guys! 4K video streaming, Cam Link for mirrorless HD video, microphone, white light, Green Screen (behind me), OBS software, Final Cut Pro (on free six month trial) and a large enough stash of Wagon Wheels to keep me satiated until we get released, or not. The ambition is transition from writer and ‘real world’ facilitator to online content creator and virtual facilitator. The ambition is real. The technology is willing, though the flesh is weak.

Now I have always loved the sound of my own voice (it seems), but that was me, subtly radio-miked at a conference, or recorded by some distant camera crew, prowling the hall. On the headphones, I sound like I’m hosting a Darts based quiz show in 1983. But worse, the 1080p 60fs white lit image is staring back at me from three feet away, like an over-wrought version of self that is hard to deal with and so I remain hesitant to share. Yes, in the future (which started about two-weeks ago) all business meetings will be conducted in this way. We won’t put up with shaky poorly lit images and 240p low latency Zoom calls. We will literally want to see the “whites of their eyes” with such clarity that we can glimpse beyond their lines of ageing and into the very depths of their virtually hosted soul. Not surprisingly then, the top tip on using Zoom is to find the button wonderfully called “Touch Up My Appearance”.

The online adventure begins. The kit is in the place. I have an iPad app that maps out over the 13 predicted weeks of lock-down, a Production Schedule covering half a dozen video ideas, commentaries, reviews, interviews and features. I have watched some great stuff already done by others. Some content creators make the unboxing of a new pair of trainers look like a Christopher Nolan film. Soft focus, transitions, motion graphics, dynamic captioning reflecting the real-time commentary from the live stream of subscribers. Thankfully, that is the bigger next step along a journey only tentatively begun. For today, the challenge is to be able to not look at the screen, but at the camera! To stare into the middle distance through a pinhole viewfinder, with engagement and warmth, morphing into the best virtual version of myself. But the temptation is too great and I catch sight of my recorded self there; my eyes suddenly refocusing. I’m sat straight, looking back at myself, grinning inanely, like I’ve done all my life, but just never seen it before. The future then is much like the past, just captured and shared with a higher density of pixels.