I will be in Cannes again this year for that monster ego humbling that is the film-market by the sea.  This will be my second year running trying to get someone to have an inkling of interest in something to which I have apportioned a large part of my energy, creativity, passion and skill to during the previous twelve months.  There is a huge chasm at Cannes between the various constituents.  I have no problem with that.  As Don Draper might say, "It's part of the allure".   I have to wear a dinner jacket on occasion in my professional life and have no aversion to flashing lights and fawning crowds.  I could get to live with it.  But that, as many readers here will know is not the real Cannes.  The real Cannes happens in the market place — various portacabin sheds; walls adorned with location services, the rarity of a free seat and that most precious of Cannes resources - free wifi.  I met some wonderful characters last year and enjoyed espousing the virtues of my VERY hot new script.  But there are many thousands of other people doing exactly the same thing.  If they are not pitching a script, they are pitching a project in development, if they are in production they are desperate for distributor and exhibitor interest, if the film is shiny and in cans, they are pleading with anyone to see it. If you are someone in competition...well, you are from another world; revered, exotic, astounding.  People just want to touch you.  You know, to check that you are real. 

Cannes is an amazing place - which befuddles as many as it impresses.  How can it be that the Riviera weather in spring can be so shabby, that your precious accommodation has to be several hours away via an oxygen bereft bus and that no matter HOW MUCH you have forked out in accreditation, pre-event registration and trial-club-membership of just about every institution you think might be of worth, you still can't get into THAT party?   You know the one.  THAT party.  The one you hear about the next morning (or rather over breakfast the following lunchtime) where HE was there.   If you were at the party then HE needs no re-introduction.  If not, whoever HE was, HE could have changed your life forever because HE has green-lit six, yes SIX, other projects just like yours, but nowhere near as good.  Unfortunately, the chance to pitch has gone because HE has just got on a plane to head back to SOMEWHERE amazing to be on location with that crappy seventh project.

THAT party and HE* may well indeed have never existed.  But they might.  They just might.  And that's why there will be over 10,000 attending the market.  Because it's that easy isn't it?  Just the right party, and the perfect pitch amidst the spring rain.  And those millions of keystrokes on the keyboard were time well spent.  I'll let you know.  

Now, where is that dinner jacket?

*HE could indeed be a SHE, but in my brief experience of the film market HE is always a HE, in the same way that yachts are always leased, never owned.